gagasaur
Big Brother Has A Nasum Hoodie
Posts: 20
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Post by gagasaur on May 2, 2012 3:31:11 GMT -5
Beer shits sure are different when you eat healthier. I woke up and went to the bathroom to unleash what I can only describe as a waterfall of soft serve ice cream pouring from my asshole. Pretty awesome. Are they better or worse when you eat healthier? Eating healthier means more grains and fiber probably, which I would think would make the beer squirts even worse. Beer shits usually ensure you'll have to wipe off your nuts when you're done.
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Post by hipsterchainsaw on May 10, 2012 19:48:03 GMT -5
i pooped at work the other day, and instead of shitting i farted so loud that i reverberated in the bathroom, and because of the severity of the fart my b-hole swallowed up some air (or something, who knows) and proceeded to recreate that fart around 4 times, super awesome, the entire time the night boss guy was there and proceeded to talk to me about it later, and i brushed it off and told him thats gross.
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Post by thelampincident on May 11, 2012 3:01:41 GMT -5
I've definitely had that fart scenario come up a couple times lately. You think you have to take an urgent shit, but instead it's a gigantic wind pocket escaping.
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Post by grindblastpuke on May 20, 2012 17:13:04 GMT -5
I took a shit in the ocean.
It required an intense amount of zen like concentration to coordinate my balance in the waves, stay afloat, and pass the loaf.
I passed it.
It was a floater.
I vacated the area.
I hope someone found it.
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Post by thelampincident on May 20, 2012 17:23:00 GMT -5
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Post by grindblastpuke on May 20, 2012 17:25:50 GMT -5
Classic. I hope you're ready to hear about all my bowel movements for a whole month.
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Post by thelampincident on May 21, 2012 3:00:39 GMT -5
You should shit in jars all month and start a museum in the van.
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Post by yeastydeath on May 21, 2012 9:55:03 GMT -5
I keep wanting to fart into a quart container at work, so I can put it in the freezer for an unsuspecting bartender.
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Post by joethestache on May 21, 2012 20:23:43 GMT -5
I keep wanting to fart into a quart container at work, so I can put it in the freezer for an unsuspecting bartender. DO IT
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Post by thelampincident on Jun 24, 2012 0:36:28 GMT -5
I just took a shit that was actually a mid-sized log but it all shot out of my ass in one fluid motion like a torpedo. It was pretty cool.
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Post by deadallman on Jun 24, 2012 16:56:23 GMT -5
I tried to give a particularly stubborn fart some encouragement a week or two ago and ended up shooting a brown laser out of my shorts onto the back of my leg. After last night of drinking and greasy foods, I have been hesitant to fart all day...
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Post by ryan on Jun 25, 2012 7:45:35 GMT -5
hahahahahaa
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Post by deadallman on Sept 30, 2012 17:02:21 GMT -5
I consumed single slice of "taco pizza" today and was immediately greeted by a soggy stranger persistently hammering on my back door. The introduction of jalepenos to yesterday's reserve turds was a decisive mistake with urgent results.
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Post by grinchx on Sept 30, 2012 21:35:42 GMT -5
dook chute riot
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Post by deadallman on Dec 18, 2013 15:11:45 GMT -5
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Post by deadallman on Nov 7, 2014 16:29:33 GMT -5
After reviewing my last shitcapade, I guess it is safe to say that "taco pizza" is guaranteed to make me shoot hot lava out of my butt.
The taco-flavored pizza rolls I had last night are just as spicy coming out as they were going in.
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Post by thelampincident on Nov 10, 2014 19:13:08 GMT -5
I went through a jar of colon cleanse about a year ago and my shits have still been awesome to this day. Support.
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Post by geeheeb on Nov 12, 2014 9:54:33 GMT -5
Since I started as an orderly I have seen rainbow poops. Red, orange, yellow, green, ...well not blue, but def purple, black, almost white, and most recently metallic gray. Each with its own unique bouquet.
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Post by deadallman on Nov 12, 2014 23:50:25 GMT -5
I ate an entire box of Oops! All Crunchberries once and my poop turned neon blue for a day or two. It made the water a strange green/blue color as well.... it was kind of cool.
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Post by ryan on Nov 24, 2014 15:36:49 GMT -5
I ate a giant bag of flamin' hot cheetos one day and then took a shit later and freaked the fuck out for a second because it looked like I shit out a giant bloody mass.
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Post by ryan on Nov 24, 2014 15:38:01 GMT -5
Also shat out a fuckin' mega snake log the other day that slapped me in the balls when it finally ended. WORST FEELING.
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Post by dragunov on Nov 24, 2014 16:11:42 GMT -5
Also shat out a fuckin' mega snake log the other day that slapped me in the balls when it finally ended. WORST FEELING. DUDE FUCK THAT
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conner
Big Brother Has A Nasum Hoodie
Posts: 24
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Post by conner on Nov 25, 2014 14:23:04 GMT -5
Drank too much cream ale for one night, went to bed, woke up groggy and while walking to the bathroom a stream of shit slid down my leg, leaving a trail on my carpet. I wasn't even cognizant of it happening to the extent that I proceeded to take a wee and get back into bed. HAHA Just made some hapless soul whisper scream "DAMN THAT SHIT" while washing his hands.
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Post by BigSeth on Nov 26, 2014 12:54:33 GMT -5
I filled up the toilet last night with a half solid mass that made it look like the toilet water was a brick of shit. God bless beans, god bless em yall.
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Post by swilliam on Dec 8, 2014 12:06:34 GMT -5
Most of the time when I shit, I look in the bowl after and say "oh, gross" like I didn't know there was shit in there or something. Also if I fart, and don't get to smell it, I feel like it was a waste.
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