|
Post by olegrinder on Feb 9, 2010 17:26:22 GMT -5
and seriously - would you give a band their FIRST SHOW - to open up for a big band? - sounds like a bad call to me - id rather pick a band whom might not have played alot of shows, but i know wont fuck up half their set because its their first gig and sometimes shit like this can happen but thats just my opinion though does sound like a scam or pay to play to my ear It doesn't say anything about a band's first show - am I missing part of it? All it's saying is "name on a billboard" (aka we won't be paying you, but look how awesome your name is in lights. Just look!) and "a show to put on your resume" (aka we totally opened for Ted Nugent-Motely Crue-Saliva cuz we're so awesome). I would think they're only looking for established local bands. Even amateurs don't want to work with noobies. And if you're willing to pay the fees, you 'can' perform anywhere you want. You won't, but saying that's not a good way to find clients for your crap ass booking business. Totally with you on the clueless manager-booking agent types. Imagine if your friend spent that twelve grand on a PA and renting space for shows. She'd at least still be making some cash off PA rental. You can put on a buttload of shows for $12k.
|
|
|
Post by appache on Feb 10, 2010 7:06:55 GMT -5
yeah sorry ive been bustin her balls by emails a bit and i guess im mixing a bit of both
just to put you into context - olympia is pprety big, and also there is no venue called metropolitaine - its metropolis...which is huuuuuge.
i dont know to me it sounds like "have you ever wanted to get out there and play a show " yaddidaddidada like its for someone starting off - but then again maybe im getting this all wrong
if id have 12k$ yer damn right you can put on tons of shows - or even put on huge shows... like get bands thats you know youll be able to make yer money back with...
apperantly from a response i got back from her
she is precissely looking for bands to play in RESTAURANTS n shit (very far from em venues she was talkin about)
not very "underground"
|
|
|
Post by olegrinder on Feb 10, 2010 17:29:33 GMT -5
Again, the ad doesn't say anything about 'underground'. Very little of the world operates with any concern about 'the underground', or 'being punk rock'.
Madison has a big theatre - The Barrymore - where major label, but not totally huge acts play. I remember Clutch and CoC playing there; Medeski, Martin & Wood played last month, I've seen John Zorn, The Donnas, Melt Banana & Mr. Bungle, and Henry Rollins there. There was a big hardcore fest there years ago. The booking agents for the theatre are always scoping out the biggest local acts - they drag in more ticket sales, already have excellent local networking, etc... A lot of times the bands don't get paid very well to open, but it's an opportunity to open for a national act, and if they bring in a good crowd, they might have the opportunity to play there again and get paid well. Really well.
Now this is NOT the punk rock scene I'm talking about. It's the big time, baby, it's rock-n-roll. (that is a 'Rock & Roll High School' reference for non-Ramones fans). That's the way they do bidness. Pay the headliner, pocket the rest.
But it sounds like this person you're talking to is trying to entice popular local bands to play at small clubs and restaurants. Or on a totally outside chance, might have a contract with the clubs & eateries to provide live music entertainment.
The best thing to ask any promoter-booking agent is "What do we get paid, and what's your end?". If they can't answer straight out, "You get $75 to play a 45 minute set" or "I get 10% of the door, and you get the rest" etc., AVOID.
|
|
|
Post by thelampincident on Feb 14, 2010 20:35:01 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by olegrinder on Feb 14, 2010 21:25:21 GMT -5
Here's a trilogy. Everything is better in trilogies! Part 1; True Metal Warrior.
Real Metal Guitarist Available (Southern WI)madison.craigslist.org/muc/1592643892.htmlLooking to join established band or even start one from scratch. I'm hesitent to put this ad up here due to the fact that Madison has given me great dissapointment in metal musicians. First off, if you think a real metal song needs clean singing, you can just click the back button now. Only Corey Taylor, James Hetfield, Dave Mustaine and Tom Araya have been able to pull it off properly, and power metal bands as well, but they are a different breed I'm not interested in. If you actually can do it I'm down with it. But, that's not why I posted this ad. I'm looking for SERIOUS, DEDICATED, NON-LOSER MENTALITY, GOAL ORIENTED people who can provide the WHOLE package. Musicians who are ready to write and shove it down the throats of everyone! I'm 30y/o and have been playing guitar for 13+ years and have been studying and watching everyday since what it takes to make yourself and your music successful. What seperates the unknowns from the known bands. I need people like me who are ready to take it on the road when it gets to that point and to also realize you will NOT make millions on your first tour or second or third or ever! People who are not willing to give it up. If you are a Drummer you need to have super fast double kicks!! If you don't, then my friend you are jsut a rock drummer. I'm not the best or ever claim to be, but I'm busting my ass to get anywhere near there and if you are too I would love to jam with you! Ahh, yes. My influences. Here they go: Sepultura, Obituary, Six Feet Under, Lamb of God, Slipknot, Slayer, Soulfly, Pantera, Entombed, DRI, Suicide Silence, Decide, Morbid Angel, Megadeth, DevilDriver, Job for a Cowboy, Disturbed and all great classic rock, country and blues including the Dixie Chicks and Michael Jackson. Like I said people who are driven and write phenominal stuff and want to succeed! Thanks, hit me up if that's you! Part 2; Offended, old, but still total true, metal head. Probably a guy who can't find dudes to start his classic metal (cover) band.
RE: Real Metal Guitarist Available (Mendota MHI)madison.craigslist.org/muc/1592757916.html(Mendota MHI = Mental Hospital Intake, I believe)You were right to hesitate in posting your ad. It's no wonder you can't find anyone to play with: your arrogance is exceeded only by your ignorance. "Only Corey Taylor, James Hetfield, Dave Mustaine and Tom Araya have been able" to sing metal cleanly? Son, until you've studied the true metal masters like Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden and Judas Priest up and down, back and forth, inside and out, you have no right to even utter the word "metal." You are only 30; real metal was rockin' and rollin' a full decade before you left your dad's shorts, squirt. The bands you mention as influence are not first, second, or even third wave metal. They are followers, imitators, those that come after. Long after. Poseur. Just because you think your generation's bands are bigger and badder and louder and lower and meaner than those that came before does not give you right to co-opt the name or spirit of true metal. Nor does it give you the right to disclaim the tag "poseur." You are a newcomer to the game, son. Drop the attitude, maybe you'll actually learn something. Trust me, you have a lot to learn. Part 3; Interwebs beatdown. Cuz part two of the trilogy was a lame rant, tantalizing hints of violence! In the name of METAL.
re re re metal (madison)madison.craigslist.org/muc/1593258037.htmlWhy is it every time someone posts a very detailed ad outlining exactly what he or she wants, some talentless . clueless, armchair wannabe , amp borrowing, bus riding, 25 th rated , squire slinging, guitar misfit, has to open their moronic mouth and spew the shit out from between their teeth ?? Is it because they have no clue, talent, or band to argue with ? Someone needs to take an active stance and lure these morons to an old fashioned blanket party. Any takers?
|
|
|
Post by thelampincident on Feb 15, 2010 17:21:03 GMT -5
Major lolz at seeing the job I had for three weeks up: providence.craigslist.org/lab/1601342966.htmlGas Attendant wanted 6:00 am-2 pm. Full service station must be clean cut, neat , non-smoker and on time!!Must be polite & a people person. Duties include waiting on customers and light cleaning when not busy . Must be 18 yrs old with valid drivers license and reliable transportion. Please respond with your name and phone number. Starting pay 8.00 /hour Also lol at "starting pay"... how could you ever hope to get a raise at a place that doesn't make any money?
|
|
|
Post by BigSeth on Feb 15, 2010 20:33:27 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by joethestache on Feb 17, 2010 18:54:31 GMT -5
sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/cas/1596686842.htmlAny ladies want to smoke...(some pole)? - m4w - 37 (santa clara) Date: 2010-02-11, 1:43PM PST Reply To This Post Below is the best illustration I could create using solely keyboard characters to show you what I am fully expecting to happen tonight. 8===D~~~ (-: My name is Greg. I'm a 37 year old man who needs to take at least a double-dose of Viagra daily for my penis to be even relatively sexually functional. I want to warn you in advance, so that your not alarmed, that my testicles are freakishly large in size (each is slightly smaller than a golf ball). I just don't want you to be frightened when you see them, because they'll more than likely be repeatedly slapping you in the chin/face area for the better half of the 2-5 hours it takes me to fully climax. I've also recently been taking a vitamin supplement that has allowed me to ejaculate massive amounts of fluid, so I will provide you with the necessary eye protection (laboratory goggles or a custom made motorcycle helmet) for when I do orgasm Wear something patriotic because I plan on putting on a show of semen that rivals a Fourth of July firework display. I'm looking for a certain type of woman to come over an fulfill my needs. You need to be between the heights 6'3'' and 6'8'' (the taller the better) and be very bulky/muscular with obscenely huge nipples. I have no racial preference but I do require that you have at least a reasonable amount of hair visible on your upper lip. If you do not meet the facial hair criteria, I have a movie quality glue-on mustache that I would request you wear throughout our session. You can choose from a pencil thin style, handlebar or what I've deemed the fuzzy caterpillar (my personal preference). We can arrange to meet at my place or yours. But if we do it at my place, you will have to be very quiet upon entering because my mom lives right down the hall from my room and we don't want to wake her. The last time I tried something like this, she walked in on me pleasuring myself with a papaya and I got grounded for a month. I know, I'm 37. But hey: her house, her rules right!? Please respond to me and title your email "Call me the vacuum 'cuz I'm always ready to suck" so I can filter out spam and I know you're serious. * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
|
|
|
Post by thelampincident on Feb 17, 2010 19:09:09 GMT -5
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that guy is my new hero.
|
|
|
Post by ryan on Feb 18, 2010 11:20:07 GMT -5
haha holy shit that is amazing!
|
|
|
Post by monollectif on Feb 18, 2010 13:47:53 GMT -5
HAHAHA funiest thing ive read today
|
|
|
Post by britleryouth on Feb 18, 2010 13:51:00 GMT -5
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That made my day.
|
|
|
Post by thelampincident on Feb 18, 2010 20:36:47 GMT -5
providence.craigslist.org/rnr/1607190393.htmlRE:o'rourkes bar and grill (pawtuxet village) Date: 2010-02-18, 6:05PM EST Reply To This Post o'rourkes bar and grill (pawtuxet village) they take your money and call you FA.GGOT under their breath. but they aren't quiet enough. don't patronize them. they are assholes there. -------------------------------- Well don't be a fa.ggot, you fa.ggot, then you won't have a problem will you fa.ggot?
|
|
|
Post by ToLiveALie on Feb 18, 2010 22:23:34 GMT -5
HAhah my word filter ruins this doesn't it?!
|
|
|
Post by thelampincident on Feb 18, 2010 22:27:36 GMT -5
Not really. Word filters on Proboards are easy to work around.
I laughed at all the unnecessary crudeness in that posting. Too bad most of Rants and Raves is legitimately racist bullshit...
|
|
|
Post by britleryouth on Feb 22, 2010 17:09:13 GMT -5
"Need Wresltors Superstars!!! (East Longmeadow ) Date: 2010-02-21, 9:28PM EST Reply to: Ericcolon5@aol.com [Errors when replying to ads?]
I am Eric and i am the founder of E+D Wrestling. We started off as backyard wrestling and i consdier to quit with the backyard wrestlng and make a business out of it. Yes my idol is Vincent Kenndy McMahon but i love wrestling and wanna make my owe wrestling company. So i am looking for people in the age range of 10-20. I have to say i can not pay any of my superstar not the momnet. Once we get a good show going anf making some good money then i will start paying my superstars. I need more divas as well. I aslo need a refree. You can email me at ericmoser5@aol.com. E=D Wrestling Founder Eric Colon
* Location: East Longmeadow * Compensation: Call Me 1-4132214487 * This is a part-time job. * This is a contract job. * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster. * Please, no phone calls about this job! * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 1611748896"
|
|
|
Post by ryan on Feb 22, 2010 17:14:26 GMT -5
haha, dream big eric... dream big.
|
|
|
Post by britleryouth on Feb 22, 2010 17:23:57 GMT -5
You should call him and tell him that.
|
|
|
Post by thelampincident on Feb 24, 2010 12:33:52 GMT -5
worcester.craigslist.org/m4w/1577933206.htmlI'm a decent looking guy. 23 years old. Live in Oxford. Work fulltime, own a truck and play in a metal band. We play out often and are working hard to get our shit out there be noticed and get on a tour. I love to smoke and chill and laugh. I want to find a girl to join my life and hang out get into eachothers heads a bit and have fun. If you are a stoner chick please email me. I need a stoner bitch baby lookin just like you. And if you like to get high, well then you just might do. Never cry. you only sad when the sack is gone. I got a pound & a bong so girl pack the bong. Fuck the coach, fuck the prada, fuck the dolce & gabana. She's happy kickin back smokin a fat sack of marijuana. PERFECT!!!! hit me up.
|
|
|
Post by yeastydeath on Feb 24, 2010 14:11:48 GMT -5
Rhyming bong and bong was genius.
|
|
|
Post by monollectif on Feb 24, 2010 15:52:55 GMT -5
Rhyming bong and bong was genius. i was about to say the same thing
|
|
|
Post by yeastydeath on Feb 24, 2010 16:13:09 GMT -5
I see he's another student of the Fred Durst school of rhyming.
|
|
|
Post by ryan on Feb 24, 2010 17:00:50 GMT -5
atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/muc/1615191835.htmldrummer looking to fuck some shit up with other instrument players (Atlanta) Date: 2010-02-23, 11:01PM EST Reply to: comm-asnxw-1615191835@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Sleek and sexy drummer is looking for someone to smooth out the edges. My interests include Big Black, KARP, Neurosis, The Birthday Party, Unwound, The Cows, Black Flag, The Fall, Pig Destroyer... but I'm not necessarily looking to play music sounding like anyone on this list. I am mobile. I am open-minded and ready to boogie. No straight edge pussies and no christians.
|
|
|
Post by ryan on Feb 24, 2010 17:04:28 GMT -5
atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/muc/1614822462.htmlI need female dancers (Atlanta) Date: 2010-02-23, 6:20PM EST Reply to: comm-hvyzb-1614822462@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Hello, my name is Sa'J [sah-jay] and I am an emcee that rocks with a live band. I am promoting a new dance called "Butta Clap". Go here to see how it's done: www.youtube.com/user/sajlive#p/a/f/0/w2p9-h2WDCsIf you are interested, respond. --I cant see the video cuz i'm at work but i can only imagine the amazingness of the "Butta Clap"
|
|
|
Post by olegrinder on Feb 24, 2010 18:42:18 GMT -5
Tell the drummer to move to central WI.
The Butta Clap = epic FAIL. Lesson to rappers - let the hotties dance. When you do more of an ill-concieved clubbin' step than the women in the videos, you lose. Step yer game up man!
|
|