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Post by trappedinside on Dec 16, 2011 15:40:01 GMT -5
if you do listen to them you will absolutely "regret" it
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Post by yeastydeath on Jan 6, 2012 18:07:41 GMT -5
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Post by thelampincident on Jan 7, 2012 9:37:27 GMT -5
That's a funny ad. I should have posted this in here the second I saw it: boston.craigslist.org/gbs/muc/2777223936.htmlmetal band seeks manager/promoter. (Nashua NH.) Date: 2011-12-31, 2:52PM EST Reply to: comm-ku7js-2777223936@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Hello and thanks for the interest. i will try to keep this brief. I currently reside in three bands at this time. all three are in need of heavy promotion. i am not paying cash to have this done. i will be paying in international award winning tattoo ink. i am a professional tattooist/illustrator of 18 years. i run a very successful tattoo shop in downtown Nashua Nh called the TaTToomB. . for every public acknowledgement of the bands material, you will receive 50 to 100 dollars in tattooing. let me break this down. if we receive a good review from a respected source, and it is due to your efforts towards the bands publicity, you will receive one half hour in my chair. a 50.00 dollar value. you would earn this by mailing our c.d.'s out and doing online promotions for us. reviews will add up quickly and you will have a lot of tattoo time acquired. interviews with the band will pay more. label interest will pay you more. mainly we seek a good promoter. visit www.thetattoomb.com for samples of my work. this is a barter/trade service. between me and you. the rest of the band owes nothing. if you are looking for top quality safe and sterile tattoo work, you cant do better then this. e-mail if interested. my efforts will meet yours. thanks. Location: Nashua NH. it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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Post by conceptviolator on Apr 11, 2012 19:09:25 GMT -5
email this posting to a friend chicago craigslist > city of chicago > personals > missed connections please flag with care: [?]
miscategorized prohibited spam/overpost best of craigslist Please report suspected exploitation of minors to the appropriate authorities
Did we hook up at the Megadeth/Motorhead concert? - w4m - 28 (Aragon Ballroom) Date: 2012-04-09, 3:41PM CDT Reply to: c9kpp-2948959310@pers.craigslist.org Me: Blue hair, silver tube top, fishnets, Knee high black biker boots. You: Red mohawk, black pentagram gauges, viper piercings.
I was grinding on you in the pit, then we went to the bathroom, and got fucked up. You had a nice cock and I was wasted so I let raw dog it in the stall. You were really good and you had to gag me so I would make too much noise.
Anyway I'm pregnant. It's yours. contact me if you want to be part of your child's life.
Location: Aragon Ballroom it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2948959310
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Post by grinchx on Jun 3, 2012 15:07:14 GMT -5
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Post by thelampincident on Jun 3, 2012 15:42:54 GMT -5
hahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Post by monollectif on Jun 3, 2012 17:06:07 GMT -5
hahaha perfect!
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Post by yeastydeath on Jun 4, 2012 0:26:31 GMT -5
Oh my god. I think I need to move to LA.
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Post by ryan on Jun 4, 2012 7:55:10 GMT -5
That might be the best thing I've ever read
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Post by thelampincident on Jun 4, 2012 19:53:07 GMT -5
charlotte.craigslist.org/mis/3057328903.htmlGastonia drive-by sluts - m4w - 27 (Gastonia) Date: 2012-06-04, 4:51PM EDT Reply to: bzgff-3057328903@pers.craigslist.org I was walking down Long Ave trying to cross Marietta today. Your car had about five bitches in it. One of them in the backseat shouted at me "You're sexy as hell" while the driver was smoking a cigarette and shouted "Will you fuck me?" Now I'm not sure if you all were just joking, because I was ready to get in your car so we could run off and I could wear all your asses out. Seriously, I would fuck your asses while you talked shit to me and then fucked your mouths until you cried. Seriously, I would do all sorts of nasty shit that I bet you sluts are into and more. I'm willing to bet at least one of you will read this. I was the large guy in the green shirt and blue jeans. I was smiling back at you. I wasn't offended. I love sluts. Sluts are what make this country the great nation it is today. So email me so we can fulfill the american dream. Even if you weren't one of these bitches but you liked what I wrote, be a good slut and email me anyway. Location: Gastonia it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests PostingID: 3057328903
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Post by thelampincident on Jun 9, 2012 9:17:08 GMT -5
providence.craigslist.org/muc/3054902593.htmlNeed musicians for H/C punk, Power Violence Project. (Providence) Date: 2012-06-03, 1:39PM EDT Reply to: 4rvpd-3054902593@comm.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Looking to start the most insane fastcore/hardcore/powerviolence/grind band ever, with the occasional funk dance beat breaks. i'm talking short songs, lots of blast beats, heavy riffing, with brutal slow parts thrown in very sparsely. Funk/Reggae jams will also be a part of this band. This music will have a sense of humor. I will be the singer. on drums and bass I need two fat black dudes (preferably with experience in gospel, funk, blues) to hold down the rhythm. the drummer needs to be a very hard hitter, but also have that finesse for the sexy parts. The bass player needs to have the ability to play really fast with his fingers and also lay down a slap/funk groove. For guitar i'm looking for an attractive female with dreadlocks who can play power chords really fast, and can shred wild solos. the name of the band is BOOTY SPANK. the whole idea behind this band is to be goofy and have fun, but i'm also down to record, and tour, and play lots of shows. if you are interested in this band, and are not a fat black dude or an attractive female with dreadlocks, you can still try out. brutality a must. Location: Providence it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests PostingID: 3054902593
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Post by yeastydeath on Jun 9, 2012 12:35:09 GMT -5
Mike, did you write that as a joke? That dude cannot be serious.
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Post by thelampincident on Jun 9, 2012 18:04:08 GMT -5
Nope, I just happened to come across it randomly.
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Post by thelampincident on Nov 26, 2012 20:54:40 GMT -5
newlondon.craigslist.org/muc/3431322842.html*~20 YR OLD DRUMMER SEEKS BAND (I have a pro studio)~* (!Anywhere within 25 miles of Exeter RI!) Date: 2012-11-24, 1:09PM EST devonfvideos@gmail.com[Errors when replying to ads?] What's up? My name is Devon and I have been playing drums for 7 years. I am looking for a band that are between the ages of 18 to 24 in need of a reliable, quick to learn drummer. I WILL NOT PLAY WITH ANY MUSICANS OUTSIDE OF THIS AGE LIMIT. My preference would be to have a band to practice at my studio because I have 7 grand worth the equipment and I would really like to use it. I would like to join a band that practices 2 times a week. I feel that is needed and I will not join a band that only practices once a week. I would be open to having 2 practices a week, one at my studio and one at another. I have 2 drumkits so if I were to set one up at one studio and have another at my own, then that would work convienently. I really started picking up the advanced stuff 4 years into drumming. I play single bass because my biggest influence is John Bonham, the late drummer of Led Zeppelin. I am a die hard fan of them and know almost all their songs on drums by heart. However; I prefer to have a more versitile approach to drumming. My drumming will spand to almost all rock, raggae, blues, punk, jazz and funk. The only things I won't play is rap/hip-hop, metal (Avenged Sevenfold is the only exception, my favorite modern band) and anything morbidly sad and weird. What I find to be preferable is a cover setlist of 20 to 25 songs before making originals. The covers will consist mostly of mainstream stuff, with a couple of lesser known songs in the midst. IF YOU ARE AGAINST MAINSTREAM ROCK, ALTERNATIVE, BLUES, POP/PUNK AND RAGGAE, DO NOT REPLY TO THIS AD!!! Below are 2 lists, bands I like and bands I don't. Bands I Like; ~Led Zeppelin (Classic Hard Rock) ~Avenged Sevenfold (Heavy Rock/Metal) ~Paramore (Pop/Rock) ~Foo Fighters (Rock) ~The Guess Who (Classic Rock) ~The Rolling Stones (Classic Rock) ~Rebelution (Raggae) ~Johnny Lang (Blues) ~Lots of 90's alternative hits. ~Lots of classic rock. Bands/Genres I Don't Like; ~Korn (Nu Metal/Rock) ~Slipknot (Metal/Rock) ~Bring Me the Horizon (Death Metal) ~Almost all Pop. ~Almost all Metal. ~Almost all Country. ~Almost all Rap/Hip-Hop ~You get the idea. Going to equipment, I have a Gretsch Catalina Maple 2010 Limited Edition Black Lacquer 5 piece. I use Aquarian and Remo Drumheads, Paise PST5 cymbals and DW 3000 hardware. My other kit is a modded Sound Percussion 4-piece. Way more portable haha. I know how to tune so my drums always sound good. As for audio stuff, I have a Allen&Heath MixWizard 16:2, a Ultragraph Pro EQ from Behringer, a Headphone Amp from Behringer, a M-Audio Interface with Audacity on my laptop for recording stuff, Digital Reference drum mics, a QSC GX3 (for monitors) and a GX7 (for mains), Two 200 watt Peavey and Two 375 watt Communitys for the mains and Two 130 watt Peaveys and Two 200 watt Yamahas for the monitors. On top of that I have a Shure SM58 Mic with 2 mic stands. As for Guitars, I have a Acoustic 200 watt bass amp, a Behringer 200 watt guitar cab, a Vintage 1973 Solid State 200 watt bass amp I use for lead guitar. With that is a BOSS ME-20 multi effect pedal I usually hook up to it. All of that is in a heated and air conditioned 22x25 foot room. Best part is that it is all it's own separate building. Neighbors aren't an issue since I live on a farm in the woods. It's pretty rural out here haha. I live 10 minutes off Highway 95 so it isn't like you're going to the boonies or anything. Everything I have is absoutely ideal for professional band practices, recording perposes and giging out. So that's my equipment. As for when practices should be and where they would be, this is my scenario. There is no changing this plan of mine, it has got to be this way for me. 2 days of the week to practice, one weekday and one day on the weekend. The weekday practice may require a late practice, going from 9 to 11pm. That practice needs to be held at my studio if I am working that day in which a practice is also scheduled. I get out of work at 8:30pm from the Guitar Center I work at in New London, CT. It's an half an hour ride home, so when I get to the studio it'll be 9 o' clock and I'll be ready to get practice going. As for the weekend practice, I'm okay with going to another studio to practice, within 25 miles of my hometown as said in my ad title. We could have practice at my studio though on the weekend too, that's preferable. If not, I have my little gig kit that I could bring to your studio for practices at another studio. Practices on the weekend must be 4 to 5 hours for me. A long practice each week is mandatory for me. So overall, you pick the weekday and weekend and I will tell ya if it will work and if not, what days work best for all of our best interests. I WILL NOT JOIN A BAND THAT CANNOT GO WITH THIS PLAN. I assure you that practices at my studio though are enjoyable, professional ones considering the equipment I own. Google map Exeter, RI to where you practice to get an idea of the distance. PLEASE LOOK UP WHERE EXETER IS BEFORE REPLYING TO MY AD!!! CHECK TO SEE IF WHERE I LIVE IS TOO FAR AWAY FOR YOU OR NOT!! Sorry that this whole ad is long and serious. But on a lighter note, I hope I can get a band because is it is my dream to achieve a life in music. I want to tour, make albums, and have a, "second family" to do it all with. I've been at this for 3 years with no avail but I'm not stopping. I never will. I have a professional attitude, (I hope this ad conveys that), on the band but I like to have fun too. I love getting into the groove of what's going on and I have no problem having stage presence. At the end of the day, a band is a buisness but it can be an enjoyable experience as long as everyone knows what they are doing and there's chemistry. Hit me up at my email address, devonfvideos@gmail.com, or call or text me at my cell phone phone, 401-569-3677 if you interested in giving me a shot. If you call and I don't answer, please leave a message with your name and phone number. Thanks! Here's an old video of me, I'm better now, but this should give ya a good idea on what I sound like and where I am now in my drumming. Location: !Anywhere within 25 miles of Exeter RI! it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests PostingID:3431322842
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Post by deadallman on Nov 26, 2012 21:26:27 GMT -5
That guy has a really precise plan for sucking. 20-25 cover songs?! 8==D~o
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Post by thelampincident on Nov 26, 2012 21:39:08 GMT -5
Since he posted both his name and the fact that he works at the New London Guitar Center, I was thinking about taking a drive and getting some lulz...
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Post by monollectif on Nov 27, 2012 0:11:55 GMT -5
fucking do it!
also, bring me the horizon death metal? wtf ahaha
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Post by thelampincident on Nov 27, 2012 3:56:45 GMT -5
PS: "Booty Spank" ad was revealed to be my friend making a joke, he seemed pretty embarrassed when we found out actually, haha.
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Post by trappedinside on Nov 29, 2012 17:46:43 GMT -5
i hope that drummer loser gets a million prank calls
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Post by flesheater on Dec 3, 2012 14:27:04 GMT -5
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Post by monollectif on Dec 3, 2012 14:43:58 GMT -5
hahaha
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Post by thelampincident on Feb 13, 2013 13:15:24 GMT -5
stlouis.craigslist.org/tlg/3613264730.htmlChewbacca impression needed I am making a small independent film that coincides with the Star Wars franchise and need someone to do a professional voice-over of the Chewbacca character. I can offer $40 for your time and services. In order to remain unbiased, I will be holding open auditions over the phone, where my request is that you immediately respond with the typical Chewbacca sound effect. If I do not answer, leave a message with your name and number and your impression of Chewbacca. My number is 6308900892 it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests Compensation: $40
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Post by deadallman on Feb 13, 2013 13:27:51 GMT -5
haha thanks Mike, I forgot this thread existed.
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Post by monollectif on Sept 9, 2013 11:26:38 GMT -5
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Post by yeastydeath on Oct 7, 2013 16:08:21 GMT -5
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